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THE BUTTERFLY REFLECTS - SovPro Predictions with Barry Posa



How do, pleasure to be writing to you all. I am “The Monarch” Barry Posa - twenty year veteran of the British wrestling scene. I’ve worked over two thousand shows for over four hundred and fifty companies and over half of those had a crowd in attendance. I’ve been to every side of the squared circle more times than I can count, and I can count to at least four. Four sides to the circle.


With the wealth of wrestling knowledge that I’ve acquired across my journey, you start to develop what I can only describe as a seventh sense. You see an entire show play out in your head, in advance, like the whole thing was pre-written ahead of time. I know my peers like the back of my hand and I can draw the back of my hand in graphite in under 4 minutes, a local record. Using this unparalleled skill of mine, I’ve been able to put together a certified list of predictions for what’s upcoming on this upstart little company Sovereign Pro Wrestling’s next show, ‘It’s Dark and Hell is Hot.’


You can’t have a Sovereign without a Monarch now, can you?


If you don’t want to be spoiled, stop reading now, otherwise you’ll have wasted the cost of your ticket. Or rather, you should still buy a ticket and go and if I’m right, send me the cost of the ticket as well as a tip.


Right-o, let’s get stuck in.



LANA AUSTIN VS. LUCIA LEE


Lana Austin will arrive accompanied by Ivy, and the Lana Austin who was so kind to fill in for her at 2ND REIGN. More and more Lana Austins will continue to reveal themselves from the crowd like the Burly Brawl in that Matrix film my son made me buy him on DVD back int’day.


Lucia will argue - quite rightly in my opinion - that if they’re all Lana Austin then they should be in the ring.


WINNER: LUCIA LEE BY COUNTOUT



IESTYN REES’ GAUNTLET OF THE GODS


For any regular correspondent, it would be bloody hard to make predictions without knowing who the opponents are, but it takes more than that to get past a wily veteran like me.


OPPONENT ONE: BLUE PAIN

The Leviathan of Litigation tried to destroy Mike Wimbleton at 2NDREIGN and now he’s returned to finish the job. Too preoccupied on chasing Roach and Wimbleton to focus on the Welsh titan in the ring with him, Pain leaves the arena in hot pursuit - leaving Rees on his lonesome.


OPPONENT TWO: KC PAYNE

KC Payne makes his return to SovPro, looking to avenge his loss to Iestyn Rees at the last open challenge. Rees nonetheless manages to persevere, although he does take more than five minutes this time.


OPPONENT THREE: PROPANE

Roach and Wimbo return with a gas barbecue set from the nearest B&Q. Rees assembles it in less time it took to defeat Payne at Boiling Point, and the subsequent flames are enough to repel Blue Pain once and for all.


WINNER: IESTYN REES 3-0



SOVPRO TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS

THE 87 © VS. IAN SKINNER & SIMON MILLER


Tapping into the Power of Friendship or the Heart of the Cards or whatever other powerup from the most recent anime Kidd Bandit has guilted him into binge-watching, Simon Miller will unlock a previously unknown 88th way to die - but it’s not enough. The 87 prevail and get the three count, but this discovery shakes their resolve to their very core, leaving them unable to continue.


Ian Skinner declares himself Tag Team Champion with Tom McManus.


WINNER: IAN SKINNER & FRIEND



LEYTON BUZZARD’S HOMECOMING


Leyton will declare a second triumphant return to the world of musical theatre. Multiple members of the audience (the ones who weren’t Lana Austin) will also declare themselves to be secret Killective members, with the group proving large enough to be their own touring theatre troupe.


Their first touring show, ‘Les Miz’, gets less than stellar reviews from critics when it turns out to be a re-enactment of Wrestlemania XVIII in French.



VIDEO STORE MASSACRE

RORY COYLE VS. RPD


The rules of the Video Store Massacre are at long last revealed; Rory Coyle has a collection of tapes that are overdue for return to Blockbuster, and RPD has to return them within six hours, or else he will be left with the fines.


RPD Zoom-calls the arena at 12:38am standing outside the Blockbuster store in Oregon. The show still ends sooner than FIRSTREIGN.


WINNER: RPD VIA SUBMISSION



HARLEY HUDSON SAYS GOODBYE


It’s going to be emotional. Applause will be made, tears will be shed and the Sovereign Nation will become a lot less pink.


Joey Hayes will come out for a cuddle and Bullit will hit him with a chair for tradition’s sake.



“THANK YOU” MATCH

SAM GRADWELL VS. BRADY PHILLIPS


This sordid, bloody affair very quickly becomes a bare knuckle brawl that takes place all over - and eventually outside - the Trinity Sports Centre.


However, Brady Phillips’ overbearingly polite upbringing gets the better of him when Sam holds the door for him as they head back into the arena, leading him to accidentally utter those two fateful words.


WINNER: SAM GRADWELL VIA GRATITUDE



SOVPRO COMMONWEALTH CHAMPIONSHIP

LEON SLATER © VS. JORDAN OLIVER


Can’t say I’m familiar with either of these lads (they weren’t around in my day) so I’ll say this is going to be a slow plodding match without much excitement. Might be a good time to have a bathroom break or check on your stock portfolio.


WINNER: LEON SLATER VIA WHATEVER HIS FINISHER IS



LES BATTERSBY COMES TO SOVPRO


What, that Les? As in, our Les off Corrie?


I’ve got no bloody idea what’s going to happen.


Barry Posa

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